Then came the locusts. Oh yes, there were thousands of them! And no, I'm not talking about the helicopters. Even though many of us were seriously frightened we were descending into WWIII, the locusts were not military helicopters at all. I mean actual, big, freaking locusts. And when I say freaking, I mean freaking. These were not a joke to mess around with, young grasshopper. These were locusts! BIG GIGANTIC MEGA LOCUSTS!!! Like some reached about a foot long in length. Some, you could have as breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if you were St. John the Baptist that is. These locusts were huge. And they took the Middle East by swarm.
Oh yeah, then there was the great plague. And the plague infected myriads and myriads of people and it spread at churches, at movie theaters, at synagogues, at schools, libraries, seminaries, and hospitals. But it did not spread at grocery stores, big box retail stores, marijuana stores, liquor stores, stores where you can buy lottery tickets from, the governors' mansions, or anything else that a politician labeled an "essential business". And while COVID-19 was so horrible a disease that it forced the entire lockdown and severance of all human social interactions while God continued to say "It is not good for the man to be alone", the one good thing about this horrible and pitiful plague is that people stopped dying of all other sicknesses and ailments. Only COVID-19 was what they had died from.
But people loved being indoors. So much so that they didn't even bother to protest and voluntarily paid fines when they were arrested for protesting the lockdowns. It was great happenings all throughout the country with these lockdowns. It was gleefully obvious to these politicians in charge that the people loved the lockdowns. People don't want to see their friends and family. Who would want to do that?!? Not any decent introvert! Hold on, I'm getting word that this is actually not true. People actually did attempt to protest but then were labeled "Trump-supporters", "white nationalists", "selfish", "disobedient", and a thousand other different slurs when they did. Also, it was pointed out that the virus spreads in these protests...but there are some protests in which the virus doesn't spread in.
There were actually some very important essential protesters going on shortly after a man kneeled on another man's neck. The video of this event happening resulted in a unanimous condemnation of what the man did but for some reason, this one group of people claiming to be super-anti-racist that any disagreement with it meant that you were a racist yourself said that you were inherently guilty of that man's crime simply by sharing his skin color. Which seems racist at first, but hold on, the man who kneeled on the other man's neck was white and the man who was killed was black so that makes it okay to say that people are inherently guilty of another man's crime on the basis of their race. These protests really escalated quite fast. Target was burned and looted though some say the reason was in the name...or maybe the bullseye logo that it should have reconsidered. At any rate, the company made itself a target.
As stores were burned and razed throughout the countries, the rage never dissipated, it grew larger. Eventually, they ran out of super-markets and small businesses to raze. So at this point, the people got together and formed the Brotherhood of The Statue Knocker-Downers. This glorious Brotherhood of the Statue Knocker-Downers would knock down all the racist statues in existence. Racist meaning that the people were white. So they went after the abolitionist Empress of Brazil, they went after Queen Victoria, they went after a Norwegian immigrant who fought for the Union during the Civil War, they knocked down a statue of a Catholic saint and went after another statue of a Catholic saint. To say these people were possessed is a bit of an understatement. They certainly were commanded by the Devil for only he would tear down an icon after having been so soundly defeated at the Second Council of Nicaea. The virus did not spread in these protests.
Oh yeah, we got a new nation after this. It was a peaceful nation with no police, no border wall, and no border patrol officers. Just cheap barricades to lock people and public officials from delivering aid and a pansied-group of selfish, dimwitted college students called "white liberals" who openly mocked themselves for their racism. They hated using guns so they used them themselves. It was a peaceful nation that called for the head removal of people who didn't affirm their liberal orthodoxy which they insisted was entirely non-dogmatic dogma that people were expected to affirm. In addition, it also inherited the highest murder rate for any nation. But it was a peaceful nation. There was tranquility and peace in that nation. We were sad when it disbanded.
Oh, and don't forget the Presidential election...
Here the summary of events cuts off. It was said the man made himself laugh so much writing this that he died of laughter. R.I.P. Anonymous Coward
No comments:
Post a Comment