How I became a radical...

I remember the first time talking with Crazy Church Lady how she asked how I uncovered the Eastern Catholic faith. How I came to God. Etc. She would interject frequently asking me the question, "Is that when you met God?" I told her quite plainly, the first time I encountered God was when I walked into the Anglican Mission. I went into the mausoleum where we gathered, sat down in a pew and saw a man who I mistook as one of the clergy. I asked him about the faith, told him I was inquiring, and he handed me the 1928 Book of Common Prayer. I'll never forget meeting him nor the discussions we shared. It was then and there that I consider to be my first encounter with God.

My non-denominational faith could never give me any answers to the faith growing up. It was increasingly filled with emptiness and void of any firm meaning. It gave me a base that there was a God but I never could find it there. It was detached from the beauty that I longed for. I left it at the end of my senior year in high school. That was soon when I started an adventure of a lifetime. I was led increasingly to question what I was taught on the grounds of what I was taught. How could we assert that Mary was not the Mother of God when we also affirmed that Jesus was God? I began to venture straight into the pitfalls of Arianism. The only thing I had in this lack of meaning was reason. A strongly broken reason. A reason that was the basis of my entire faith. It was empty and shallow. Even though I discovered an Evangelical Covenant Church to attend, their young adult group could never satisfy my growing spiritual appetite. I craved something quite more. I soon found myself leaning from Arianism into Luciferianism and Satanism. I continued to attend this Evangelical Covenant Church but my desire was to spread my heresies.

But then I was called out from these demons. I've explained this story in other places so I won't go into too much detail but I eventually found myself at a Continuing Anglican parish where I would meet a man who would change my life. I struggled with all sorts of sins coming into the Church that I knew I would have to leave and the Church helped me significantly to flee from the sins bothering me. It was soon after the 2016 presidential election that I began having political conversations with this man. He was the treasurer and while his expertise was not politics, I saw that he possessed a depth of understanding about human nature that I could only compare to that of my spiritual director. He knew the myriad flaws of liberalism better than any one I ever came across.

My venture into the Occult led me to desiring a liberalism but when I looked at what liberalism in America had to offer, I realized how hypocritical and shallow it was. It was filled with race-baiting nonsense that I was raised to disavow. This venture could never and was never designed to last long. It was part of God's plan to allow me to see the ugliness of the Devil so I would have no qualms spitting on his face when it was necessary. Though the Devil certainly has sent his messengers to cling tightly to me throughout since leaving them, there are many struggles that we all must go through and this is my struggle.

I learned from this many how we have abandoned Christian social doctrine in this political climate. That led me to reading what Christian social doctrine was. I learned every ounce of it and studied every ounce of it. This isn't simply conservatism, this is fight with the present spiritual powers that seek to conquer the world and claim it as its own. There is a demon beneath every political power that seeks to destroy the Church from both without and within. The Church is infested with politicians trying to put on the purple collar and split her apart. We tolerate evil way too much. Libertarianism may be about freedom but there are key areas where it falls short. It will never reach the full value of the Christian social doctrine.

From him, I not only learned his form of libertarianism, but I learned the Austrian school, and I learned the Christian monarchist form of the Austrian school. I had leaned toward monarchism before but it was this man who showed me what a void democracy was. He was a strong monarchist. When the archdeacon's wife found this out, she exclaimed, "No wonder you're an Anglican!" Well, monarchism is kind of the doctrine of the Church. I learned from reading on Christian social doctrine that democracy was indeed heretical. It was this man who fueled my desire to learn, it was this man who showed me the emptiness of what the world had to offer, it was this man who handed me the Book of Common Prayer that would lead me toward the Church, it was this man who led me to a greater understanding of traditionalism and the history of the Church. This was what would plant the seed and fuel my conversion from the pitfalls of Satan to the radical communion with God. That there can be a Kingdom of God on Earth but only when full union with God is desired by all. One must rid themselves of every sinful desire to see that they were only looking at a shallow void. The more sinful desires one is rid of, the more they can see what they previously held to was ugly. I have seen plenty of ugly. The more I see of beauty, the more I hate and despise ugly.

This is my journey to radical. It's not that I am angry or an angry person. I am quite the peaceful and calm person. There is much ugly out there and I strive to rid myself of every desire for it. The beauty that I crave is now nearer to me than it has been at any point in life. The loud and obnoxious music I despised in my mega-church growing up, I was right to despise. The veneration of the created image of man that is seen in democracy, I was right to despise. The shallow void of this temporary Earth, I do not seek attachment to. I am filled with unpopular opinions. I may be right to hold all of them indeed. I believe the opinions are not without firm evidence though. In the end I may be vindicated. What am I to do with friendship with the world when I can have friendship with God? It's not about scoring friends here on Earth. It's about coming into full union with God. He is the only one who matters in the end. It isn't that people don't matter but that one must be careful not to make them into idols. That is why I am an radical.