I haven't been here in a while

I have not been posting here in a while. I took a break from blogging here, because, truthfully, I wanted to try things out as a different person. That did not go well at all. I wanted to hide myself away from past mistakes. But that does not work at all. I cannot hide from that past or from that filth. I can only pray that people love me and will forgive me for whatever sins and failures I have committed. You may have heard of someone called "Autistic Catholic". That was me. That was my moniker. That is who I am now. I am no longer "newenglandsun". But "Autistic Catholic" has the same exact character flaws as "newenglandsun" did. Only that "Autistic Catholic" was able to get the things that "newenglandsun" didn't get. And getting those things that "newenglandsun" didn't get turned "Autistic Catholic" into a monster.

I have found more emotional abuse in the past year and a half getting the things that "newenglandsun" didn't get than emotionally worthwhile friends. That might be only partially true. I found some very decent friends as Autistic Catholic and made friends that I might not have had if I wasn't. And I think I have found very good and decent friends as Autistic Catholic that I could have also found as newenglandsun if I had genuinely wanted to. And the people who didn't want to be friends with newenglandsun to begin with were probably the ones who eventually turned on Autistic Catholic anyway. It was an interesting experiment for about one and a half years actually allowing myself to admit that I was autistic.

I found that Catholics on social media really like the idea of an autistic person speaking on behalf of the Faith. What they don't like is when that person begins to show more and more character traits associated with autism. I learned a lot of Catholics on social media claim to be empathetic toward autistic people, but turn their backs when character traits associated with autism become more obvious. There is a mixture of welcome and a mixture of hostility toward the autistic community. Spiritual warfare is not seen as a cause by some of these people as a source of problems for autistic people online, but only the exclusively autistic problems. If an autistic person is attacked for being autistic, many of these Catholics will attempt to instruct an autistic person defending that person's dignity as being "Woke" or "playing victim".

I think a lot of this has to do with the failure of Catholic culture on social media in general. I've encountered hostility on Facebook, Instagram, X, etc. Catholic culture on social media should not be seen as representative of the Church. There is a statement made by St. John Henry Cardinal Newman about how the Barque of St. Peter is a truly magnificent ship if you refrain from entering into the boiler room. Too many online Catholics want to step into the boiler room. One of the most recurrent problems in Catholic culture today is a mass of bishops who want to lead their sheep directly into the boiler room. Whether they are disobedient liberals who reject Church Teaching or are the "Rad-Trad" pastors who are relentlessly lamenting about how the Church is persecuting them.

I've been called a hypocrite by Catholics on social media many a times. I've been called a hypocrite once by a woman who claimed she would promote each of my blog posts (she never did because she was a liar). I might very well be a hypocrite. I have to get the plank out of my own eye before getting the speck of sawdust out of my neighbor's eye. The thing is that many sins I've committed have been done directly in my interactions on social media and my brethren there have never given me a chance to display my fruits. I have complained about the double-standards. If I were to block someone on X, I'd be accused by Catholics of "holding a grudge". A person who blocks me is "defining boundaries". Of course, I've felt constantly held to the position of being the one who figures out what those boundaries actually are, rather than them clearly being defined. That was my latest negative interaction on X.

It's always the same scenario. I was once told I was being bullied by a woman by another woman who said that she would block the woman who was bullying me. That woman never did that. She went on continuing being mutuals with the other woman until I finally challenged her trustworthiness and brought up that statement. I was blocked. The woman currently has a backup account and where she mutually follows the woman she said she would block and who was "not a good person". She claims what she did to me was "merciful". It was anything but. It's an expected demand that I be a mind-reader in social interactions. That woman knew and understood autism but apparently did not understand that if definable boundaries are not set, I'm not going to have a clue if I'm expected to be a mind-reader.

There were too many interactions like that. I quit. My mental health improved. Honestly, I don't think I will ever go back. One of my dear friends on X though is @fifth_wife (Katherine Howard). She has been a faithful friend almost since the beginning of my tenure on X, even when she thought I was a girl. I have never seen anything from her that has not been unwholesome. I have told her that if she ever converts to Catholicism, I want her to be my goddaughter. I'm referring to people who are exclusively on X though. Not people who I still communicate with via another media form.

I've been looking at my stats here and I might try and blog here more often seeing as people are apparently still viewing this website, even in my absence. I don't recall ever getting that much traffic while...not blogging!

Hannah, the Mother of Samuel

In the Latin calendar, and some Eastern Catholic calendars, the Feast Day of the Conception of the Ever-Virgin is celebrated on December 8. Most Greek Catholics have retained the traditional date as December 9. The purpose is twofold. It is to remind us that the Ever-Virgin full of grace, has her grace in the origin of God. It also remarkably falls on the date of the Feast Day of Hannah, the Mother of the Prophet Samuel, and last Judge of Israel. In writing about Hannah, the Mother of the Prophet Samuel, I am by no means diminishing the Feast Day of the Conception of Mary. In contrast, it is actually an amplification of the Feast Day of the Conception of Mary. Scriptures have a multitude of meanings and it is important for us to reflect on all of them. It is like eating into a multi-layered chocolate cake. We see in the connection between Hannah and the Ever-Virgin Mary a typological approach to Scriptures.

In Hannah, we see a barren woman. Hannah is the first wife of the priest Elkanah. Peninnah, his second wife, had children and would bring grief to Hannah. Hannah, asking the Lord for a child, was blessed with one whom she would dedicate to the Temple of God. This also is a figure of the story of Abraham, Hagar, and Sarah. For Sarah is barren and ordered Abraham to have relations with Hagar delivering Ishmael. But Isaac was the chosen son. Sarah would later bear Isaac in her old age. From barrenness comes the greatest fruit of the Church for it was also in Hannah's namesake, Anna, the mother of Our Lady, who we would see another barren woman give birth to the child who would bear the Christ-Child. Not only in that are the two women of Hannah and Mary connected, but also in many other features.

For both Hannah and Mary, there is a miraculous nature to the conception of their children. Mary has a Virginal conception, her Son, God-Incarnate, Jesus Christ, is to be born without Her knowing any man. For Hannah, she was barren, but the Lord fulfilled her prayer for a child. Anna, who was Mary's mother, and is celebrated with her namesake Hannah on the Feast Day of the Conception of Mary, dedicates her child to the Temple from infancy as does Hannah with the Prophet Samuel. The Prophet Samuel not only came before the period of the Israelite Kingdom, but also would anoint both the first and second Kings of Israel. In a sense, Hannah is also intricately connected with the barren Elizabeth, the cousin of the Virgin Mary.

Elizabeth bears the forerunner John Baptist who announces the coming Kingdom of Christ as did Samuel announce the Kingdom of Saul and then the Kingdom of David. Hannah gives birth to the first forerunner and Elizabeth gives birth to the second forerunner. The first forerunner paved the way for the Kingdom of Israel to be made. The second forerunner paved the way for the King to take His throne in the Kingdom. Thus, Hannah is intricately connected to the Virgin Mary by being a prefigurement of the Forerunner's Mother. But Hannah is also a prefigurement of the Virgin Mary herself.

In both the account of Hannah's miraculous birth to Samuel and the Virgin Mary's miraculous birth to Jesus Christ, the women are seen giving praise to God in poetry. Hannah gives praise in 1 Sam. 2:1-10 and Mary gives praise in Luke 1:46-55. In both Hannah's prayer and in the Virgin Mary's prayer, we see how the roles in society have become inversed in the miraculous accounts of the birth of their children. The rich have been sent away empty and those who were once fruitful have become barren. The two show a reversal of fortunes in the account of the birth of their children.

In Hannah, the church fathers saw a prefigurement of the New Testament. Hannah displaces Peninnah as she gives birth to the Prophet Samuel. Much as in the birth of Isaac, St. Paul draws a prefigurement of the children of God in contrast to the children of the bondwoman. Hannah symbolizes the New Testament Church and Peninnah the Old Testament Church. The Old Testament Church turns to apostasy as it refuses to hear the Gospel and accept their own Messiah. The New Testament Church comes to fulfillment in the Gospel and they receive their Messiah and their King. Hannah receives the fullness of the Kingdom of Christ and Peninnah, as the apostate Jews, is sent away empty in her own blasphemies as she chose to mock the holy woman.

Hannah is a prefigurement of her namesake Anna who is celebrated today when we celebrate the Conception of the Virgin Mary. Hannah is celebrated the same day as the Conception of the Virgin Mary because she foreshadows Anna. Not only does Hannah foreshadow Anna in bearing a child to be dedicated to the Temple, she also foreshadows Elizabeth in bearing a forerunner to the Kingdom of Israel on Earth as Elizabeth bore the Forerunner to the Kingdom of Heaven. And finally, Hannah, in her song of praise, foreshadows the Blessed Mary Ever-Virgin's song of praise in thanksgiving to Our Lord for having become the vessel of Divine Grace. Mary, full of grace, is born of grace, for the name Hannah in Hebrew means "grace". The name Anna is the Greek variant of Hannah. Greek Catholics have retained the Feast Day of Our Lady's Conception for today because it falls on the Feast Day of the Holy Mother of Samuel, and also because Our Lady's birthday is September 8. Because Our Lady's grace was received from God, the one-day off signifies this only defect that Our Lady experienced in Her entire life from conception onward, in that she was not fully God.

The beautiful rosary

I learned the rosary from an Anglo-Catholic priest. He knew the history of the rosary quite well and never prayed the luminous mysteries. I don't have any judgment toward those who do, but for me, the rosary will always be prayed with the full 150 Hail Mary's to remember the 150 Psalms. I wrote this on an old blog of mine back in 2016.

I wanted to write this for people unfamiliar with the rosary. It is a very beautiful devotion though often misunderstood. The rosary is quite a scriptural prayer and takes on the prophetic narrative of the 150 Psalms and how they are fulfilled in the Gospel. For instance, Mary’s intercession on behalf of sinners is seen in John 2:1-12. She stands at the side of the King (Psalm 45:1-9) and is always present in his life. One needs to become acquainted with the Psalms though to see how Mary is prophetically seen alongside her son in his mission but this is why the rosary has three sets of mysteries. The joyful, sorrowful, and luminous mysteries. Not only do they recount the prophetic detail of the Psalms but also the prophetic detail of Mary’s participation in Jesus’s life. What initially started as 150 Psalms became 150 Our Father’s and then 150 Hail Mary’s.

So here is the basics on how to pray the rosary.

Start with the crucifix saying the Apostle’s Creed–

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell; on the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty; from there he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

Next, pray the Our Father holding the next bead–

Our Father, Who is in heaven, Holy is Your Name; Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

On the next three beads, three Hail Mary’s–

Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

On the next bead, pray the Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer–

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

O my Jesus, forgive us of our sins. Save us from the fires of Hell. Especially those in most need of your mercy. Amen.

Then begins the first Our Father introducing the first decade. An Our Father introduces the decade, and then the mystery is announced. Normally, information on the rosary does not specify the mystery, however, for our purposes, we will identify each one as I am most interested in explaining a full rosary which will give the 150 Hail Mary’s reflecting on the prophetic message of the Psalms.

After saying the Our Father, the joyful mysteries are begun. They start with the Annunciation. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the Visitation of Mary’s to Elizabeth is the next joyful mystery. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the next mystery is the Nativity. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the next mystery is the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the next mystery is the Finding of Jesus in the Temple. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made. This concludes the joyful mysteries. The sorrowful mysteries are then transferred to as you pick up normally.

An Our Father is said and the first sorrowful mystery is the Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the next mystery is the Scourging at the Pillar. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the next mystery is the Crowning with Thorns. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the next mystery is the Carrying of the Cross. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then another Our Father and the final sorrowful mystery is the Crucifixion. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

This concludes the sorrowful mysteries as the glorious mysteries are next transitioned to which complete the prophetic nature of the Psalms. If we go to Hebrews 1:1-12, we see many Psalms are fulfilled in the resurrection. In addition, St Peter cites numerous Psalms, specifically Psalm 110:1 in Acts 2 related to the resurrection. There are three glorious mysteries which refer to our own resurrection–the resurrection of Christ which we are to become incorporated into, the descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost in which our baptism is a major part and we are joined to Christ’s resurrection in baptism (Rom. 6:3-4), and the Assumption of Mary which reveals Mary’s own resurrection from the grave to be foreshadowing of our own resurrection.

An Our Father is said as the glorious mysteries are announced. The first of which is the Resurrection of Christ. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Another Our Father is said. The next mystery is the Ascension of Christ into Heaven. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then an Our Father is said and the next mystery is the Descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then an Our Father is said and the next mystery is the Assumption of Mary. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made.

Then an Our Father is said and the last glorious mystery is the Coronation of the Ever-Virgin. This is announced followed by 10 Hail Mary’s. Afterward, a Glory Be and optional Fatima prayer and whatever intercessions desired are made. There is one more prayer–the Hail Holy Queen.

Hail, holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O merciful, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Amen.

This concludes the rosary.